A Sexologist’s Guide To Talking About Sex With Your Kids

According to sexologist and podcaster Jess O’Reilly, a major tip for talking to kids about sex is taking the initiative to start conversations at an early age. This can seem like a challenging task, but O’Reilly mentions using accurate terms for body parts as a great starting point, saying, “you might explain to them what you’re [doing] when you’re washing them (e.g. I’m wiping down your vulva — the vulva includes the parts on the outside between your legs).”

As explained by Better Help Channel, this will give your child the vocabulary needed to ask questions or report something wrong. It will also help them avoid feeling any shame or awkwardness about their body. Starting early is also a way to help parents become more comfortable with these conversations, as O’Reilly adds that practicing with your baby-aged child will help you get used to saying body-related terms aloud.

Consent is also a concept that can be introduced to kids. “This is a non-sexual skill that is transferable to sexual relationships when they’re older,” says O’Reilly. “Make sure they know that they can make decisions about their body. For example, ask them if they want a hug or a kiss before diving in. Let them know that they can say no and respect their boundaries.” 

Providing them with boundary-setting language is an important element of teaching consent, as they should be able to decline offers for hugs and kisses without pressure.