Mel C reveals she was sexually assaulted the night before her first ever Spice Girls concert

Melanie Chisholm has revealed that she was sexually assaulted at a hotel the night before the Spice Girls’ first concert.

The singer, 48, told how the ordeal affected her so much that although she tried to bury the memory, it came back in a dream as she wrote her new autobiography.

Melanie, who also revealed she still suffers from depression, said she ignored the incident because of her fear of upsetting people – a trait that also later prevented her from seeking the help she needed when she wanted her life to end.

Ordeal: Melanie Chisholm has revealed she was sexually assaulted at a hotel the night before the Spice Girls’ first concert

The Sporty Spice star said at the time of the sexual assault, when she was 23, she was afraid of causing trouble and had too much on her plate with the Spice Girls concert in front of an 8,000-strong crowd in Istanbul in 1997.

But she says that failing to deal with it made it tickle her mind so much that it came out of nowhere in a dream when she began writing her new life story, Who I Am: My Story, which released on Thursday.

She: ‘It happened to me the night before the Spice Girls’ first ever live performance.

“We were in Istanbul, we did two shows over there, and we’d never done a full-length concert before, so we’d obviously been rehearsing for weeks ahead, costume accessories, make-up here, everything was leading towards the top of everything I ever had wanted to do and ever would be.

Traumatic: The singer, 48, told how the ordeal affected her so much that although she tried to bury the memory, it returned in a dream as she wrote her new autobiography (Spice Girls pictured in 1996)

‘What drives me is being on stage, being a performer, so here we were the night of the first ever Spice Girls show, so I’m treating myself to a massage at the hotel.

‘And what happened to me I kind of buried right away because there were other things to focus on. I didn’t want to make a fuss, but I didn’t have time to deal with it either.

She continued: ‘because I didn’t deal with it at the time, I realize I allowed it to be buried for years and years.

‘And then when I was writing the book, it came to me in a dream or I kind of woke up and it was in my mind and it was like ‘Oh my god, I didn’t even think about having that in the book’. ‘

Keeping it quiet: Melanie, who also revealed she still suffers from depression, said she ignored the incident because of her fear of upsetting people (pictured in 1996)

Melanie added: ‘Then of course I had to think ‘Do I want to reveal this?’ and I just thought ‘I think it’s really important for me to say it and finally deal with it and process it’ – and for other people .

‘I suppose in a version of sexual assault it’s a mild version, but I felt violated. I felt very vulnerable. I felt embarrassed and then I felt unsure of ‘have I got this, what’s going on?’

‘I was in an environment where you take your clothes off with this professional person.

‘It has affected me. But I buried it. A lot of people do.’

Memory: Mel says that not dealing with it made it tickle her mind so much that it came out of nowhere in a dream when she started writing her new life story Who I Am: My Story

She said she simply got up and walked out of the massage and tried to forget the incident.

Mel, speaking on Wednesday’s How to Fail podcast, also shared how she still lives with the depression that consumed her due to a variety of factors, although her life is in a much better place than when she suffered from anorexia and at its lowest ebb.

The former Sporty Spice, who has previously opened up about her struggles with fame, weight and being ashamed, said: ‘Even now, in 2022, I live with depression. You know it’s there. I’ve learned a lot about how to deal with it and deal with it and keep it in check, but sometimes it can get to me.

‘So I think it’s really important to learn what works for you. I think everyone can just have different little tools in their kit to get them through.

Terrible experience: ‘What happened to me I kind of buried right away because there were other things to focus on. I didn’t want to make a fuss, but I didn’t have time to deal with it either’

‘I like to think I’ve never felt suicidal, but I’ve wanted to not wake up, which is awful – which is an awful, awful place to be.

‘Sometimes it felt like my spark had gone out. But most of the time it is there. There is a little flicker even in my darkest moments and it has pulled me through.

‘I would say that speaking up is so important. I used to hate … ‘I don’t want my mum to worry, I don’t want my friends to feel like ‘oh my god, here she is again’ and not want to pick up the phone.

‘I am a warrior. I struggled and in my eyes I failed. I let myself down, I let the public down, but I got through it. I got through the other side. My story is that I succumbed to these things and I was ashamed of it, but what I feel very proud of is that I overcame all those things.’

The mother-of-one said she has learned to help her mental health through a healthy amount of exercise, healthy food, sleep and limiting alcohol.

Asked if she would choose the same life of fame again if she could turn back time, she said: ‘I wouldn’t change it. When I talk about the really hard times, I think ‘I wish I had done it differently’.

‘But if I had to do it all over again I would because I love my life. I have achieved my childhood ambition and dream and I still do.’

Survivor: ‘I am a warrior. I struggled and in my eyes I failed. I let myself down, I let the public down, but I got through it. I came through the other side’