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Key events
WINNER: Lizzo’s Watch Out for the Big Grrrls wins the competition series
Two cast members of the show that is sure to dominate next year, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, are on stage, Markella Kavenagh giving us our second Aussie accent of the night. Hi, I’m in charge here.
Lizzo winner for her dancing reality show Beware the Big Grrrls, and has to mix up the wonderful dress on stage to receive her award. “I need my big girls to come on stage right now,” she shouts, breaking into tears. “When I was a little girl, I just wanted to see someone like me in the media, fat like me, black like me, beautiful like me. If I could go back in time, I would say to myself, you want to see that person , but bitch, it must be you.”
Her big grrrls (the show’s contestants) are in the back having the time of their lives.
WINNER: Amanda Seyfried wins Lead Actress in a Limited Series
Seyfried wins for her performance as Elizabeth Holmes in The Dropout. Her slightly panicked speech makes me feel like they have to write threats on the teleprompter to motivate anyone who stays longer than 20 seconds.
WINNER: Jennifer Coolidge wins Supporting Actress in a Limited Series
Freddie Highmore, who plays a doctor on a show no one is watching, thanks the doctors for being doctors, then goes to the award. Five of the seven nominees in this category are in The White Lotus and the queen wins: Jennifer Coolidge.
“Oh hey, hey,” Coolidge purrs, then starts up in his wonderful way. “I took a lavender bath tonight and it made me bloat inside my dress, I’m having a hard time talking. This is so exciting – first of all, oh shit, I didn’t think this was going to happen,” she laughs, rolling out a slurred speech.The music kicks in: “Oh wait, this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing – I’m drunk, I’m drunk!”, she says, before defiantly dancing to the play-off music.
I love her. We all love her. Let’s put her in everything.
Right, we’re an hour in and we have our first Will Smith slap joke. I applaud the restraint.
There was just a weird extended film that seemed to promote both the editors’ work and a certain car brand that I won’t mention here because they don’t pay us to advertise, do they. It gets some confused applause at the Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles. It makes me feel better that even the millionaires with their golden idols see this too.
WINNER: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver wins best black talk series
Presenting this award, Steve Martin, Selena Gomez and Martin Short remind everyone why they are so great together on Only Murders in the Building and make everyone wish they were the hosts.
ALWAYS John Oliver wins; the British comedian takes a knee in front of Martin and Short as he receives his statue. He also notes the punishing clock in his speech and says it says “STOP NOW” in big letters. I’ve decided I like this breakneck speed, but please ask the Guardian sub-editors to correct all my spelling in these posts.
WINNER: Saturday Night Live wins Best Variety Sketch Show
Lorne Michaels takes the stage to accept the award and thanks the cast for “everyone showing up” during the pandemic. This is SNL’s 87th Emmy win. It is true.
We all know Lizzo can wear a big dress like no other, but I feel like this one needs its own post.
WINNER: Brett Goldstein wins Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
The British actor wins for his role as footballer Roy Kent in Ted Lasso, winning the gong two years in a row. He apologizes for swearing last year, which apparently cut the broadcast in the UK – and promptly swears again, bless.
WINNER: Sheryl Lee Ralph wins Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Sheryl Lee Ralph takes the stage in tears and unexpectedly leads a rousing rendition of Endangered Species by Dianne Reeves to a standing ovation. Has anyone seen Abbott Elementary? I’m going to start watching Abbott Elementary.
According to Julia Garner’s speech, the Emmys seem to be mixing everyone up faster than usual by asking everyone for their thanks in advance. I can’t say I hate it, but it also seems strange.
In case you missed it earlier this week, our very own Adrian Horton wrote in the US about who should – and will – win today. For the ceremony’s top prize — outstanding drama — she predicts that Emmys favorite Succession will win, but that Severance, making its Emmy debut this year, should win. Let’s see if she’s right!
WINNER: Julia Garner wins Supporting Actress in a Drama Series for Ozark
Garner thanks his co-stars Jason Bateman and Laura Linney and seems confused by the countdown; strangely, there is text at the bottom of the screen that also describes how she would like to thank her husband Mark. No time to mention Mark? Is it just me or is this all happening at an unusual, breakneck speed?
WINNER: Matthew Macfadyen wins Supporting Actor in a Drama Series for Succession
Everyone’s favorite punching bag (Tom) has won Best Supporting Actor and is taking the stage, probably surprising some Americans with his perfectly cut English accent in the process. In true Tom fashion, he is also played out.
WINNER: Murray Bartlett wins Supporting Actor in a Limited Series for The White Lotus
Aussie wins! Sorry, I’m going to be extremely happy for a while. Bartlett wins deservedly for his outstanding performance in The White Lotus, which involved, among other things, peeing in a suitcase.
Looking thrilled, Bartlett thanks medium-wine-happy Mike White and his mother “all the way back home in Australia for giving me the ultimate foundation of unconditional love”. Oh.
WINNER: Michael Keaton wins Lead Actor in a Limited Series for Dopesick
Birdman gives Oprah Winfrey a hug as he takes the stage.
“I’ve had some doubters – and you know what? We’re cool,” he says to laughter and applause, before thanking “the true believers”: “I love you man.”
Follow the 2022 Emmys live!
Sian Cain
Good morning and evening, wherever you are in the world – my name is Sian Cain and I am writing from Melbourne, Australia. Today is the 2022 Emmy Awards, held in downtown Los Angeles, marking the best in television. Following the pattern of the past few years, we’re sure to expect a night dominated by Better Call Saul ad Succession, and more inexplicably, Ted Lasso.
But we also have a few newcomers: Severance, Apple TV+’s hit drama, which has 14 nominations this year, as well as Yellowjackers and Squid Game, which land the Emmys’ first non-English language nominees for Outstanding Drama Series.
In true Emmys fashion, we kicked off with an awkward dance number dedicated to TV, where host Kenan Thompson led body-popping dancers to a Game of Thrones set. Yeah, I don’t know either.
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